Story of something which doesn't related to anyone but myself only.

Today I suddenly give a thought... Why we are exist as someone and that particular someone who trying so hard to struggle to his/her very own life... As I stumbled to see beggar begging on our money for them.. Are we to soft to pity them? Some say that we must be merciful and generous upon people who are in worst situation than us... But I come to my senses, it is not that we are generous at the 1st place or even merciful... I may not have the rights to say but we have our limbs and brain to make us striving until the end of our very breathe... Since there is a saying that "Beggars can't be choosers" If they are to begging, why don't they work out their life? We are creatures who are the most intelligent ones.. Why we even bother to become losers and winners? It seems to appeal that we couldn't have the best or perfect lives but we can walk and go forward using our hands to do things that earns us for living. So beggars shouldn't give up and keep begging just to live like leeches... They should get themselves to work rather living as useless people ( aka thrash)... There is a famous monk who once said don't believe the miracle of Gods for your own sake but use the hands that God have provide to work it out for your own prosperity... God doesn't label your fate but there is always alternation of fate where a single action of your hands and legs with our minds and thoughts can slowly develop a new road rather just to believe other preaches saying your destiny... That is what my life suppose to exist not only to feed upon myself but make sure I will walk out as a person who can lead a life eventhough isn't perfect but as trying to become a person that will be remembered amongst our family bloodline... I only can see and remember my sad past as well as walking forward to a whole new tomorrow where mysteries will appear... It seems I've think alot lately what my dad trying to tell me.. He is guiding me eventhough he is growing older day by day... I may not be his good son but I want to follow his footsteps to be a father someday... I want to pass his teaching that I've learn from him not only the respect, love and wealth but it is the bond where as a father and son which is tougher than anything else... If he could alter what the priest said to him, why wouldn't myself... I shouldn't believe others saying my life is good and can live but to make it happen to myself. As my dad had already change his fate as people said my dad is poor but somehow my dad had past beyond poor and become a wealthy man and yet earning no matter how hard he have to struggle himself in business where the income is very unstable. This is because he believe what the monk said as we use our limbs to work hard and live...
So I going to follow as he says and I am about to see and experience how far it will take me..

Yet another rainy day...

Today somehow got up very late.. Like 11 am... Haha.. I was too suprise today as today I got facial appointment... I go took a quick bath and head to my bed... At first it was relaxing, all the massage and facial wash put me into relaxing mode until she starts off by pressing the pimples on my head... Wargh..... So damn painful for at least 30 minutes plus... I can feel my life being sapping away by dreadful pain... Later the mask and off with my sister turns.. She is so damn lucky since she don't have alot of pimples... Aww.. Then we change our clothes after the facial and head to Midvalley megamall... The road once again raining... So it is hard to teach my sis how to go when she drives there when she have her licence... Well she craves for the beard papa and shrudles.. unfortunately shrudles somehow close down and ended up eating ice cream... hahaha... So packed up and drove back.. So stop by at KFC and take away some nice spicy chickens... HEHEHE.. Then bought a movie on the way back too.... Once again, tuition and this time me the first again.. Argh so sleepy.. Can't even concentrate while doing maths... Well manage to do a lot.. HAHAHAHA.. Then go watch the Premonition... and Astro watching the Mummy... Now I am stuck in my room where my mum slept on my bed... Damn... I want to sleep... Nevermind though.. I play my PSP till I am tired playing.... By then it will be at late hour.. So best time for me go berserk where no one knows what I'll be doing but nothing harmful... Hehehehe.. Being up late for something as always... Vampire at the night... Why I say so? hehehe.. I am active at night more than in day... So Adios once again... signing out... Oh ya Goodnite dear and good morning to myself hahahaha....

What is now and then...

Today I couldn't think what I am practically doing and act accordingly. I had many weird dreams lately... I couldm't care less than what I least expect to do.. So I had my tuition at about 10 or 11 so... I couldn't recall since there is so many images is wondering in my head... I guess I am tired lately... So I and my sis went out today to S.mall.. So much changes on the mall since there is renovation took place... The bowling alley change ass well as the food court... Unbelievable... Hahaha.. Currently I kinda want to buy the game I anticipated for... Devil may Cry 4... I bought it for Rm30 where it is pc game.. Wow it is cheap comparison to DMC 4 on PS3 which cost nearly about Rm300... Blue ray disc can put you down miserable by buying this expensive disc for juz to play a game.. Well I don't care much... I drove so calm until I reached home, install the game and start playng it... Wow... It was fantastic... yet again duty calls... I played that game for nearly 3 hours and got down to have my dinner and massage my dad's arm since his arm muscle aching.. Haha.. Dad rest more after he took his dinner as well... Then I continue to play Dmc and I replied my dear sms though.. Hehe sorry dear for such delays... I couldn't help myself into this nice game... Well I keep playing and 'sms'ing my dear... Until about 12.30am I couldn't stand watching the glaring and the resolution effect.. Hurts my eyes pretty much... So I go revision on my maths again... Since I promise my dear that I must study hard.... Haa now I feel the burning desire to go down to hell's study... Argh the sensation is keep burning me until my brain keep aching and made me think more and more... My capability is back... I now want to keep this crazy aching sensation... I never felt this good by having my headache... I guess I inherited my mum's migrain... hahaha... Nothing to be proud off.. Since I got so many genitical disorder... I couldn't help myself by making myself a little stronger day by day... I am reading, doing my exercise and some kick boxing... hehehehe... Lately rain alot so can't go out play basketball... Damn i miss the sport.. Haha Adios until to my next blog... hehehehe... So goodnite and good morning my dear... k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3......

Day 9

Today... let me say.. I overslept!!!!!!!! Holy cow.... I just skip school... Haa Nevermind... It happen just what I thought.. Tongue lashing by my dad.. Went back to my room and play pair cards with my sis... since can't drive out so I take my sweet time hearing songs... Later on I drove my babe car out.. Take a spin, fill up and drove back... Somehow I felt the brakes is off a little.. So basically can't speed up.. Afraid my brakes gone... Haha as normal, lots of people looking at my car.. haha so proud. But if I go overseas my babe will be sold off... Haiz.. Too bad.. My dear like it... But nevermind since if I do well I might get a Nissan 350z ( Fairlady ). Hehe... And of course I'll pay for it though after I finish up my course... I wonder how many people will be looking at it... But that car basically not my dream car though.. I want to get a BMW M5 and a Nissan Skyline GTR-35... Hehe... 2 cars is already enough for me.. When I get those cars? Hmm I think somewhere I reach adulthood.. Economically rich and stable... Hahaha looks of my dream car...

Day 7 and 8

Yesterday I blog out in the morning so basically have nothing much to blog it up.. So compensation and today... So today, I go to Damansara The Curve for catching up a movie and breakfast which in Italianese.. Order Lasagna la viva, Meatballs and Spag, and drinks are Bay breeze flings, Kiwi margarita and orange juice.. So I, mua sis and her friend Angie ate all those till our tummy bloated.. Ouch! Then we go to catch a movie which is DON'T MESS WITH ME! haha joking... Suppose to be DON'T MESS WITH ZOHAN.... It was practically ok... Laughable? Yeah it is... Clown rating from 1 till 5 stars? Hmm 4 stars.. Damn funny if you are damn pervert or very good with english actions or verbal conduct... hahaha... Then later send Angie home and put mummy 3 in my friend, Josiah Ching (aka Jojo) mail box.. And what is the best damn thing after all again.. Answer is rain.. Lately been raining a lot... So then bye bye till my next blog... k3k3k3k3k3k3....... Dear should go watch with Law and Marg... Good practical joke...

A very balanced day 6

Hmm what I was doing in the morning... As I remember someone miss called me 9 times plus... Can't remember who was it? But somehow made me woke up and go online for awhile.. While onlining I saw Bubu was there... So chat with her eventhough she kinda reply very late... Not a matter to me.. So somehow I was called by my maid for classes.. So go to class until 2 plus... Then after that I went back to my room and take a short nap up til 4.. Once again I being woken up by my 'lil sister and drive her to Klcc for her piano exam.. Kinda moody there since I am like just woke up... So I patiently waiting for my sis being examted by the boards of music... Hmm then after finish her exam.. Judging by my sister sulky face... well it is a no no situation for her.. And worst thing happen once again.. rain in KL OMG.. This time I was diverted into many many roads... I even got cheated by a stupid signboard saying Jln Kuching.. But guess where I ended up? In Cheras Ampang there.. WTH? Then I was lost in nowhere and got no idea where to go... Rain rain pouring continously and calls from my parents coming more and more.. So ended up somewhere at national library... Then once again got diverted by the police... Damn it.. That road could've taken me back home.... Instead going back to KL... How in the world is that cop trying to do.. Well anyway I don't give a damn 'bout it anymore.. So took a detour to Maju Junc and get ourself some grubs from Starbucks and Kyros Kebab... After that I got another call from JC and saying the bbq is on.. So I drove home, I took the bottle squids and drove to his cyber cafe... Ed, Sean, Ooi, Smoking, JC, Ka Chun, and some kaki Cafe was there and pranking around... That time I start to wonder, I got connection with so many people there... I know most of my friends who mostly are gangsters and vandels.. Well practically that place is really got lots of Indians and chinese... My bro from another mother.. Niketh was a well known dude in that area since he is connected in Rawang where my friend Vikk and Taneselan is there.. Ah miss the old days... Back to the topic..So all of us in the cafe planning who will go to Rawang at Jc place for bbq... So I and Ed drove all the way to rawang.. Damn it is so far... Nevermind though, we spend crazy time there and practically sms with my dear and other friends for a while before roasting time.. Hmm well lots of talking craps and bullshits.. Ended up drinking red wine... But still Ed is the damn winner of the day by eating 9 "Char-red" Chicken and me the 2nd by eating 8 "Char-red" chicken... And fish ball roast champion eater is Smoking and my sis... And heavy drinker goes to me.. A cup and a half of red wine.. So grappy taste but the moment I drank one go, I nearly got my brain shut... ( where I normally don't ). Then continue talking craps and God knows what insane rubbish talking until ended up staying one night at the place.. 1st ghost talk until no one practically want to know and I was basically half assed out there.. So ended in Jc room and my sis ended in Jc's sister room sleeping.. Who slept 1st? Smoking, then Ooi... later is Jc himself black out... Then Ed and Sean drop dead.. Lastly is me.. Who can't sleep due Jc supreme snore... OMG... Ugh.. Somehow I fallen asleep by 3 plus and got monstrus morning call from the mosque... Give me the hell yeah.. I was having a good dream and got disrupted by the quran prayers... Argh... Anyway... I got only less than 3 hours of sleep and basically drove back to Selayang sending Ooi and JC back while others got to Ed car back to Kepong... So I drove back to my own sweet home... Tying my 'lil blog now.. And my sis already running to her room and slammed herself on her bed... While me practically blogging...

Unpredicted day 5

Suprisingly.. today is one hell of rainy day.. As usual, I got up and do my stuff. Then something come up in my mind.. A wonder suprise.. hehe... So I leave my home at about 9.20 am... I choose to leave early as possible since I want to prepare worst jam ever... As I expected, the way to my destination is one hell of a jam... 1 hour traffic jam nearby at KL.. I can tell you it is like 2 accident on my way to my destination... And it pile me in nowhere to go.. After one hour of massive traffic jam... I pass by to few tolls on my way... Guess what I am practically lost for about 30 minutes until I called up my Bio teacher, Mr Leong who taught me to play basketball, well he taught me how to go... hehe... Thanks alot... I am now on my turtle driving style... Slow yet steady... It was raining like cats and dogs... Worst when I reach Kajang Silk Highway... OMG... The rain is like waterfall... I can't even see and it is like a mist covering my window and I basically in midst of mist rain.. So blur blur yet I drive patiently... Who knows what will hit me when I drive fast under bad weather condition rite? Well get into the topic.. I reach my targeted location... Hehe... I parked my car somewhere at the roundabout... I went in the campus straight on... I was practically walking until I saw dear... Hehe.. I shock her until she nearly fall on the floor... hehe... Then I let her drive since I am so sleepy today... Then we go round and round since my dear not so familiar with the area... Until we reach a restaurant after giving up finding the Oldtown... Then have our grubs which is sandwich, burger and chicken lasagna.. Our drinks is rose tea and expresso^.... I kind of shock when I see the bill which cost only Rm29.10. Huh is it to cheap.. Yeah it is... Delicious? Yeah except the chicken lasagna which taste so funny for me of course. Then after that send my dear back to her campus.. Well as for me I drove back slowly again but suprisingly took me half an hour to reach home from Cyberjaya.. Very very weird... Haha.. Then I took a quick bath and start to have my class at about 6... and ends around 11 plus.. Revision on Chemistry and Biology at the same time.. My goodness.. Very tiring indeed.. Not to mention I still have to finish up my maths book... Ugh no choice but die hard.. Ahh such unpredicted day I have.. Next time I better plan my day before putting me in extreme tired...

Day 4

Haa today was somehow a 'lil dull day.. Well practically I got a call from Ed saying there is badminton at 8... So basically I woke up at 8 but unfortunately I woke up to early... I sent a message to my dear and got no reply.. hmm How could I even forgot that she out of credit.. So I call her instead.. Well finally I hear her voice again after for few days not able to communicate with her since she is in singapore enjoying herself... Well for me today.. I call her for awhile in the morning and then I do some sit ups and weight lifting... A lil sweat for me to take bath before hitting to the badminton court... When I reach there, I saw Ed and the whole gang there.. So when I play my stamina runs out quickly and my mind is straying away.. Eventhough I won some games but I still lose in the end.. Then I took off 1st and drove to the restaurant to take away some food for my sis... Then got tuition up till 3.. For damn 2 hours I cracked my head to understand weird maths question... Real wonders of hell when it is hard to understand... Practically because of maths I am able to think more and more of myself since it is like mirror of my past... An equation can ever be solve when you got heart on it.. So thats what make me who I am now... The maths blood had run deep in my vain ever since I start to learn that I am able to count even before I can talk... If talk about business, I also can handle.. Reason is simple, I just learn what my mum and dad do their business..I work with them when I was about 5 plus.. I can calculate sums and multiply easily... But then when I grow up.. I learn that everything have its ways of life... Why say so? Haha.. Because what I know today is what I will do the other day... Basically when you know something is meant to be like that is will be that forever.. Like a Theory becomes a law.. So now even I have to say maths is very interesting in every way.. No matter how much you hate it, it always be there to help people.. No matter what subject you're taking, will still involve maths.. Anyway.. Since I am talking maths... True I am doing my own maths work t least more than 7 hours today... Can say my head nearly crack but nevermind though... I have been drawing graphs and calculate every possible solutions on each questions.. I realise there is more than one solution to a question but it depends on how I plan it... Well I got to go again due my maths.. haha.. yesterday is a past amd tomorrow is a mystery...

Day 3

Ahh it seems like it is never ending tuition and the 3rd day my dear is off somewhere and yet to return.. Today what I am doing eh. Hmm I woke up at 8 due my handset alarm.. Well do my maths since must finish the book before holiday and that is my aim... Around 10 plus I play a game to relax and well since my mind straying and cracking on my maths... Then around 12 I went to cyber cafe to see JC and play rainbow six.. Quite laughter surround me today.. As Jc me and someone whose name I forgot.. Well play rainbow 6 where Jc and him suppose to coorperate but ending up killing me and suicide at each other.. Then I killed a civilian by accident as well as Jc also killed a hostage.. Our mistake getting our mission failed haha... 2 times if I am rite... Then at 2.30 I left there and drive my Fto back home and change car keys and drove out my honda to fetch my sister back from her appointment with her dentist on her teeth bracer.. It was a nice drive since the steering and the brakes functioning very well and I drove not even exceeding 80kmh.. But the journey was too silent since my sis not talking like she is having problems since yesterday... Anyhow as I reach home I got half an hour to rest while chat with Josiah and Chong awhile and go to my class at 4 up till 6.. tiring of course.. Then have a game with Chong, Ivan, and Ah Chai... And it is Dota.. Somehow I really suck playing 'em... Haa what to do I possibly don't have any ability to play pc and console games... At sport I am not a good player especially sports that uses endurance and stamina... haha... As I know myself, I am lazy to do my studies, lazy to go sports but fantastic at spending money.. Somehow I need to control my spending though.. But good thing I now save more than I spend.. Which is an achievement... At least this money could save me from pinch someday... Oh ya, today I learn back my chemistry on some chapters that I really suck at but except organic chemistry where I able to answer them thoroughly... Eventhough my class duration is short but I adapt on the chapter easily... HEHE... I left few more weeks to my submission and my real mission... Well anyways I have to leave it as it is and got to go study... Must sustain my real deal... Anyway dear I saw purple shirt which is so cool but got no cash to buy unfortunately... I'll try to get it somehow, wear and show to dear.. k3k3k3k3...

Day 2

Yet another same old day same routine but something always happen by accident... Talking about accident.. yeah it is a close call I nearly had my accident on the road.. How it started? Yeah as usual the same thing that we do after waking up in the morning.. wash yourself up and get ready.. For me it is time to fetch my sis to Pavillion KL.. Hmm Well on my way to the 1st passenger Alicia... I go fill my my car and straight to her house... And then disaster struck in... Angelia the 2nd passenger is somewhere in Central market making her lost IC.. It is so damn boring waiting so I go to have some grubs... At the same mamak stall... somewhere near to Angelia home.. If I remember correctly it is the Ali Maju restaurant. Then the good news is Angelia back home.. So pay the bill and drive to her house straight, fetch her and go... Well as normal I always drive and they talk.. Well in the midst of driving, my mind have wondered somewhere.. So end up I speeding under the rain... Guess what happen... Too fast too furious had cause me to yank the brake pedal... My car skidded.. And it is still moving forward and nearly want to crash in front of me... I can't really think much.. So I desperately pulled my handbreak as immediate action.. Lay my steering straight.. And my car finally stop.. Just right in front of another car that I almost crash to.. All the smokes and breaks start to vanish into the thin air... But the smell is UNBEARABLE... Well almost all of them are afraid.. ( maybe they think it is the last time sitting in my car) My sis lashing her tongue to me of course... I can't practically be sad and terrified there... But I learn something from today.. But anyways I manage to send my sis and her friends to Pav safely.. And I called up my parents and my teacher about my condition... Ok here is the reason that I skidded.. 1st of all important aspects of speeding... Check your damn tires or the condemn you.. And 2nd get your brakes check as they are important and lastly Why would my Goddamn brain wonder off eh? Focus when driving... Then drive cautiously under the rain.. Road conditions is the worst when comes to rain and of course Malaysian roads are sucks big time because they didn't tarred the road evenly... And now I learn to drive slow this time.. And have to plan my journey very well so that I will not suffer the consequences... Well as to my parents complains.. Well hell yeah... I once told my dad before that I skidded at my place round a bout.. I told him that my mum's car aka honda acc that the grip of the fore wheels gone and the back ones are hardened... Well practically he ignored and saying I drive too fast... Aww dad, you had made me scared the shit out of me... So my dad practically go with me to the Brigdestone tyre shop... So change of rims and tyre.. Model hmm Turanza Ar10 .. A good model that I can tell you... Rims? haha normal sport rims.. 15 inch.. Basically I didn't want 16 inches and above due because this car is no longer in use and meant to be sold off... So why bother putting 17 inch rims where the rims easily dent due our lousy roads... Haha.. well thats all for today... My dear I am so sorry that I forgotten dear's dos and don'ts... I learned it today... Thank God that no one hurts as well as the money too.. k3k3k3k3...

1st day..

Well somehow today is very boring as usual.. Tuition in the morning as normal... Then before that I was on call with my dear... But not that long... Then when she message me that she had reach Singapore... Well it is really nice for her to travel though... At least she can spend more time with her family and for her to relax as many sad things happen to her... Day 1... I wonder what she is doing now? Well too curious to know what event she will have there... haha.. Hope nothing ill happen.. Then as for me... Well I should get more rest as I still have my cough on... Tomorrow I will be fetching my munkey sister of mine with her long long classmate as well as close friends of her... Haaa life like a driver... I couldn't even save a penny as the oil hike recently.. I guess not much of choice that I have to ask from my parents... So far money for me is stuff that fills my tummy and going to local gym... My daily pocket cash can't even sustain a day... How crazy! Well I think i have to work after my exam... Hope can get hard labour work like at construction or carrying heavy stuff.. Maybe this way I can learn the value of money. All I hear now is my days are so soon and like not even a 77 days left for my real exam and 136 days left for me to get lost and going to somewhere I want to go.. A place that everything is so important to me... A place where my dreams, tears and sweat will come into reality... That time my wheel of destiny will begin.. Haha... I stray to far already.. Now it is my time to make my dream into a reality... 77 days.. I now have to recuperate at the moment and study accordingly.. Then when I am fully heal, I will go all out... Everyday will be hell in the making... My most anticipated strength is on maths and my organic, inorganic chemistry.. Need put some focus on my biology too.. I will make my own way as a science student to reach the peak where non of my family history ever achieve and the next line will be my sister... For me it is now or never... Well I spent too much time on my blog as already an hour past... So sad I can say this short... Haha my dear... stay cheerful...

Have a bad cough.. or day perhaps..

Today morning at 1 something to begin with... I realise something is wrong with myself.. I suddenly cough non stop for an hour... I rushed to the toilet many many times.. And All of sudden my hand fill with my blood.. I was terrified... I din't expect myself that I'll cough blood once again... It is been while I cough out blood ever since I was a child when i had my asma back then.. I couldn't stand at all after I cough out blood in my own toilet... Then I chill down myself and stay calm... Then crawl all the way back to my own bed... Without air-cond I felt the chills in every part of my body... I start to sweat and shivering... So scared until I went to sleep.... Then this morning I barely walk at the hallway to the astro room where my sis resting... I ask her who should I sent her stuff to and have to meet my friend Pei Sha ( my another 'lil sis) at 7am, so I drove to school and meet her up and gave her the stuff from my sis.. Then I drove back home as fast as I could... I afraid that I may have a sudden Black out! So when I reach home I went straight to bed... At 10 I go take my bath and go pick my sis at bus stop.. Then both of us head to clinic at about 11.. I told the doctor that I had bad cough only cause I was afraid to tell out.. Then michelle called me saying she don't have credit to sms.. I didn't mine much.. So after that I went to cinema watch movie with my sis and her best friend Ajay... Wall E is the movie.. But in the midst of the show, I was called by an unknown number saying my friend owing money Rm4500.. I was shocked until I nearly get my blood boiled... Then post and replying the message and suddenly stop.. So fortunately the movie ended.. I went straight to the toilet and I cough out blood again at the toilet bowl... I was too angry.... Then I went out wash my hand and my mouth.. take the escalator down and call the number up... It was Michelle who picked up and saying it was a prank... How infuriating and frustrating until I get to deserve this... I first very angry 'bout it and suddenly calm after I replied back.. I felt like I am tested for this... How could they test me when I am such condition... I now felt regret replying such message back then.. And now I am very sad for such thing to happen today...

life..

After many incidents happen, I wonder and start to think about what I am trying to achieve in my life? At 1st I give myself a thought whether my way of doing things is to my own benefit... So selfish.. I understand that.. Sometimes I begin to wonder What will happen to my life where I got a severe sickness or pain that can't be healed.. Dying is the matter of self estimate... Will I regret or feeling content of my life... Can I make things as they are now? I think maybe that time flashbacks is nothing anymore because what is the point that you regret when you are about to die... Furthermore there is no end to suffering which i held for so long... My parent's dream, my relatives dream, and my own dream.. To think that I manage until now is because i got educated to an extent where i still can cope up with what I have now... I was once stupid but never once clever.. i am not even a genius either. So what is my life actually? Is there a meaning of my existance or I am in a many people out there... What make me different than the outside people? Sometime life is so unfair for me to justify and to testify its significance.. Haa I wish I could have more time to think what is my life about...