My 1st year 1st sem

Lately, I begin to understand how is life in Moscow, to be precise in RSMU, it wasn't easy or simple.. To start with one the 1st day tll now, if in academics wise, its pure mental torture, memorize, read read read, and exam if not collogium( important for credit test and major test and its like another test!!!) so basically test test test.
During form 6 I could sleep for hours long, but now, sometimes 2 or 3 hours period of sleeping. Got eyebags and headache.. Seriously, I think school days are still having leisure time while in univercity is for some serious deal with education.. Really stressful if couldn't pass the test and if manage to get distinction, its pure effort with luck.
Learning medicine degree is not an easy peasy task for undergrads to be one, and to be one must go through to many obstacles.
Lately I couldn't get my feelings right, yeah I had to fall for someone, I dreamt of her for past 2 nights.. and yet I got my exam for that 2 days.. Luckily I manage to pass.. I keep reminding myseif not to give up and never give up especially getting me ready for exams or sports, cause I'll know once if I give up, I'll fall and maybe couldn't take my chance anymore.
Sometimes, I just couldn't predict what's next for me. I just being blinded of stressness. Keep getting headaches..Hope it doesn't affect my health and studies. Yeah, thanks to that, my cough gets back as well having slight fever.. It take me a month to heal and yeah few days to fall sick again..
And about the girl I fall for.. A taiwanese girl, not that pretty and not that hot, but who ask me to make bet and lose the bet without money, yeah yeah in the end, I fall for her.. Though she din't notice that much since I couldn't show any affection for her.. Well, I just keep this myself, I wanna feel more heartache till affection is gone and maintain my cold self.. I seriously afraid I might get hurt again no matter how tough I can be since I am really weak mentality..
2 weeks left til new year holiday.. I hope I could last til the very last of me.. There is nothing but time, what I left now is time itself for me to accelerate..