1st day..

Well somehow today is very boring as usual.. Tuition in the morning as normal... Then before that I was on call with my dear... But not that long... Then when she message me that she had reach Singapore... Well it is really nice for her to travel though... At least she can spend more time with her family and for her to relax as many sad things happen to her... Day 1... I wonder what she is doing now? Well too curious to know what event she will have there... haha.. Hope nothing ill happen.. Then as for me... Well I should get more rest as I still have my cough on... Tomorrow I will be fetching my munkey sister of mine with her long long classmate as well as close friends of her... Haaa life like a driver... I couldn't even save a penny as the oil hike recently.. I guess not much of choice that I have to ask from my parents... So far money for me is stuff that fills my tummy and going to local gym... My daily pocket cash can't even sustain a day... How crazy! Well I think i have to work after my exam... Hope can get hard labour work like at construction or carrying heavy stuff.. Maybe this way I can learn the value of money. All I hear now is my days are so soon and like not even a 77 days left for my real exam and 136 days left for me to get lost and going to somewhere I want to go.. A place that everything is so important to me... A place where my dreams, tears and sweat will come into reality... That time my wheel of destiny will begin.. Haha... I stray to far already.. Now it is my time to make my dream into a reality... 77 days.. I now have to recuperate at the moment and study accordingly.. Then when I am fully heal, I will go all out... Everyday will be hell in the making... My most anticipated strength is on maths and my organic, inorganic chemistry.. Need put some focus on my biology too.. I will make my own way as a science student to reach the peak where non of my family history ever achieve and the next line will be my sister... For me it is now or never... Well I spent too much time on my blog as already an hour past... So sad I can say this short... Haha my dear... stay cheerful...

Have a bad cough.. or day perhaps..

Today morning at 1 something to begin with... I realise something is wrong with myself.. I suddenly cough non stop for an hour... I rushed to the toilet many many times.. And All of sudden my hand fill with my blood.. I was terrified... I din't expect myself that I'll cough blood once again... It is been while I cough out blood ever since I was a child when i had my asma back then.. I couldn't stand at all after I cough out blood in my own toilet... Then I chill down myself and stay calm... Then crawl all the way back to my own bed... Without air-cond I felt the chills in every part of my body... I start to sweat and shivering... So scared until I went to sleep.... Then this morning I barely walk at the hallway to the astro room where my sis resting... I ask her who should I sent her stuff to and have to meet my friend Pei Sha ( my another 'lil sis) at 7am, so I drove to school and meet her up and gave her the stuff from my sis.. Then I drove back home as fast as I could... I afraid that I may have a sudden Black out! So when I reach home I went straight to bed... At 10 I go take my bath and go pick my sis at bus stop.. Then both of us head to clinic at about 11.. I told the doctor that I had bad cough only cause I was afraid to tell out.. Then michelle called me saying she don't have credit to sms.. I didn't mine much.. So after that I went to cinema watch movie with my sis and her best friend Ajay... Wall E is the movie.. But in the midst of the show, I was called by an unknown number saying my friend owing money Rm4500.. I was shocked until I nearly get my blood boiled... Then post and replying the message and suddenly stop.. So fortunately the movie ended.. I went straight to the toilet and I cough out blood again at the toilet bowl... I was too angry.... Then I went out wash my hand and my mouth.. take the escalator down and call the number up... It was Michelle who picked up and saying it was a prank... How infuriating and frustrating until I get to deserve this... I first very angry 'bout it and suddenly calm after I replied back.. I felt like I am tested for this... How could they test me when I am such condition... I now felt regret replying such message back then.. And now I am very sad for such thing to happen today...

life..

After many incidents happen, I wonder and start to think about what I am trying to achieve in my life? At 1st I give myself a thought whether my way of doing things is to my own benefit... So selfish.. I understand that.. Sometimes I begin to wonder What will happen to my life where I got a severe sickness or pain that can't be healed.. Dying is the matter of self estimate... Will I regret or feeling content of my life... Can I make things as they are now? I think maybe that time flashbacks is nothing anymore because what is the point that you regret when you are about to die... Furthermore there is no end to suffering which i held for so long... My parent's dream, my relatives dream, and my own dream.. To think that I manage until now is because i got educated to an extent where i still can cope up with what I have now... I was once stupid but never once clever.. i am not even a genius either. So what is my life actually? Is there a meaning of my existance or I am in a many people out there... What make me different than the outside people? Sometime life is so unfair for me to justify and to testify its significance.. Haa I wish I could have more time to think what is my life about...